knowledge killed the man.

my head's been a swarming mass of thoughts recently. just one thing after another.

"in my next big religion, i'll do the cross thing." ~ mushroomhead, the new cult king

i've been reading a bunch of stuff on wicca recently. i've already read about 8 or 9 books, but i've already read 2 more within the last week. and these two seems to be the worst of them all. they seem so ignorant and both are basically using wicca as an extension of christianity. i'm not wiccan, i'm not christian. i'm "agnostic." at least, accoring to anyone else i am. i believe in personalized religion. i believe there is Something or Someone out there. this "God-figure" excompasses all. i don't believe in fate or predestination. each religion imposes a moral and ethical code on the followers. i believe those are a good means of keeping the cowed masses well behaved, but are not required. jesus christ is a metaphor. all it means is that Someone gave us a way to not spend eternity in misery. I've done a fair ammount of research on religions in the past, and i think i most agree with the Methodist Christian outlook on hell. to them, Hell is simply an existance without god. they do not say that you're in a firey pit, nor do they say you're not reincarnated. it is simply eternal existance within god. ya, they leave it open-ended, but WE DON'T KNOW WHAT THE FUCK HELL IS. so, how are we supposed to specifically state it?

"nobody loves you but jesus and me. i want your money, but he wants your soul." Robyn Hitchcock, Judas Sings

I've also spent a bunch of time thinking about reality and perception. first, i must define several terms-

personalized reality: the reality in which one person lives. to an "insane" person, their activities seem sane. this is because of their personalized reality.

universal reality: the reality which can not be change. gravity exists. you may be insane and disagree with gravity, but in the end, gravity will still exist. this is but one example. these are the unyielding devices which regulate everyday life. these factors are ALWAYS natural.

universal perception: those things donating change that will always happen. time will always pass. things will continue to age. once again, these thing must always be natural.

ok, time for my big 'ol theory and what not. people reflect on everything due to their personalized perceptions. because they refelect on these things rather than on the universal perceptions, everyone's reality is personalized. this creates conflicts. example: yesterday while on the way to des moines, johnny slept. to him, it was a short trip. to mark and i, it took approximately the time it should've. mark sped. he went 10 over the speed limit the whole way. for mathematical figures, we'll say the trip took 2.5 hours, although it didn't. at ten over, we'll say he averaged about 70 mph. this is due to the speed limits changing from 65 to 55 all the time. this makes the trip 175 miles. going the speed limit would've taken him 2.9 hours. he saved on 24 minutes going 10 miles over the speed limit. yet those 24 minutes were apparently worth it. because people speed. speeding saves you even less time on short trips. yet, in personalized perception, it is saving you tons of time. basically, what i'm saying is that people percieve everything differently, and it causes major discrepancies. if we could achieve a greater perception, we could achieve a greater reality and understanding of that reality. i admit, there are things is simply can not understand, like the motication to murder simply for pleasure. but, in the killer's perception, what they're doing is not wrong. it all comes back to the fact that we're animals. and a savage race of animals at that. i hope people can understand what i was trying to say. if not, ask me about it in person, i can better discribe it there.

"curiosity killed the cat. knowledge killed the man." ~ me