i'm the freak

i've never tried to bring about immediate death to myself. i've never tried to kill myself, short of smoking. i drink rarely. i refuse to take pharmacuticals or any type of drug. i've never smoked pot. i drink too much coffee. i feel that my head is fucked up. my thoughts are far from normal and my actions are even further from normal. i've never cut myself or burned myself to relieve the "pain." i've never believed in causing myself physical pain to relieve emotional pain. i know that my thoughts are far from normal. and i know my actions are even further from normal. i was never abused. neither emotionally nor physically. i've never been in a serious accident. i've never suffered a serious injury. i've never suffered racial, sexual, or gender persicution. i've never committed a crime i felt guilty about and i've immagined the most graphic of killings. ya, i'm fucked in the head, and my actions are fucked up. i'm different. becuase i don't disillusion myself with delusions of grandure. i got raised like a "normal" kid and that's what fucked me up. in this country, in this time, if you're not something from a fucked up childhood, you're the freak. ya, i'm the freak. fuck you.