people who are not me will fail to see as related.

early today, i learned that one of the most depressing feelings is when your immediate goals go from "don't puke" to "don't puke on yourself." work sucked.

on a related note (which people who are not me will fail to see as related) i was divinely (moreso hellishly) inspired to created a device for the good of all mankind. when i say mankind, i mean men. this wonderous invention, this tool of the gods, what could it be? nothing less than the spring loaded toilet seat. that's right. the toilet seat that has springs to pull it up once the user is done sitting on it. thus the many THOUSANDS of men too lazy to lift the seat will continue to not be burdened. additionally, the few men that must use the seat, for means of alternate relief, can simply push the seat down and sit comfortably atop it, knowing it is urine free. aye, the world would be a better place. no, i didn't sit on a wet toilet seat, nor even sit on a toilet seat today.