Perkins Stories #1 & 2

tonight, while i was out for coffee, many entertaining things happened. some asshole (named jeremy, he made this very clear) came in and began hitting on Karla (a waitress who was not currently working). when his girlfriend came and sat with him, he began insulting kristin, the man she was sitting with and everyone at my table. he did this rather loadly and she began defense. she warned him that she would have him kicked out for harassing everyone. he talked some shit and ended up betting her that she couldn't have him thrown out. he makes some comment that he has more money in his wallet than she's ever made in her life. she goes to talk to the manager.

jonny, the manager, comes and asks the man to calm down. the man yells at him a bunch about karla harrassing him and then claims that he's being discriminated against for being white. everyone there except jonny was white, so this comment made no sense. jonny continues to try to calm this man while the man's girlfriend leaves. the man yells about calling some police officer and asking them about him, because he is a bartender and the cops know it. it makes no sense in writing, because it made no sense when spoken. when several waitresses come to the table, the man starts yelling about jonny. he claims that jonny told him the toast was bad and that he wanted bacon. then he claims he wants "the buttermilk 5, $3.99." he repeats "the buttermilk 5, $3.99" several times until you can not help but remember it. he tells jonny to fuck off and then jonny tells him to leave or he will call the cops. the guy switches tables and keeps yelling fuck this and fuck that at karla. his girlfriend returns and convinces him to leave. later, i discovered that a waitress was walking toward the phone to call the cops right then. he never got his "the buttermilk 5, $3.99."

later, another waitress (Kristin) comes in with her boyfriend, rather drunk. at one point, he is speaking to someone he knew from highschool and rideculing them for have the last name "bass." he laughes that she's like a largemouth bass. kristin says "hey, that's my last name too" and the man (troy, and yes, he's a tool) keeps laughing and saying "no it's not." she became very upset that he didn't even know her last name and the two of them are considering marrige (or so i was told by a different waitress). of coure, she returns to his dumbass. when they leave (all 4 incredibly drunk) i am told that he's supposed to be banned from there. he's been in 7 fights (none made it to blows, but he was forced to leave for all of them) in that restaurant. i am then told that he's going to be a cop. that's who i want protecting me. he's an alcholic (supposedly abusive) tool that likes to start fights with random people. fuck troy, he's a tool.