Her way to die, her reason to live

This first thing I did upon getting home tonight was cry. A monster from the past dug it's claws in and pulled.
She told me I saved her life. She told me that I gave her a right to die and a reason to live. I once told her that I would hold her until she quit breathing if she really wanted to kill herself. So she wouldn't die alone. So she could die beautifully.
I managed to get her out of that hole alive. But I'm still here. Alone.
Alone.
Alone.