i could say...but what i'd really mean is...

i could say "Tonight was how things should be, I felt like myself again. I had energy and excitement. people were who the used to be." but what i'd really mean is that "Tonight was how things should be, I felt alive again. I had bliss and tranquility. people were as they should be." mark got his classic order at happy chef (hot chocolate and a salad with bread sticks) but it wasn't like i was with the mark from the happy chef days. i was with mark. this is who he is now. he's changed a lot. and i LOVE him for it. people did some things as they used to, but the reason it mattered was not the remembrance, but the change. what mattered about tonight is not what resembled the past, but what didn't. those things that didn't resemble the past are better than what they replaced. example, i wasn't at happy chef with "the chef crew," i was there with my REAL friends. the people that matter were there. i love them and they will never leave me. if they were slipknot they'd say "you can't kill me, 'cause i'm already inside you." they'd be right, they are a part of me. and i am better for it.