on the turning away.

right now, i feel like one of those songs that hits at the climatic point of a movie, but only in dramas because the climax is when everything hits the lowest point. i know i'm simply at an emotional low right now, and it's not completely circumstancial. my circumstances are quite improved as of late. however, several things are eating at me. the fact that i let things get as low as they got and it's going to take me nearly a year to get them back to a simple medium. "please tell mom this is not her fault."

yes, i'm crying right now. and i cried twice last night. i don't want sympathy from readers, i put myself in this. i just need to vent here. i miss those of you that i burned. i even miss some of you that burned me. "bone have never asked 'where we going to.' it was never up to me, yet i pushed until it broke."

elise, i'm sorry shit was just that. sometimes shit is just shit, but i miss your company, your intuition, and your pessimism. you made me feel important. i know i gave you hope, and in convincing you that there was hope, i always gave myself hope. i wish you the greatest of success in arizona and wherever you venture to. i always love you (don't read too deeply into this people). "no pets were never named 40 miles from the sun."

mike, i'm sorry i let things get to where they are now. we used to play with action figures out on the playground at recess, now we're both stuck inside and our action figures are packed away. i don't want it to be like that and it doesn't have to be. some fears need to be overcome, and we can play together again. "on the turning away, from the pain and down-trodden, and the words they say, which we won't understand, don't accept that what's happening is just a case of the suffering."

bwee, you'll always be my short peppy little friend that'll never get dicked. memories of you make me smile, which sucks, because you've gone *poof-gone* and i don't see you any more. i guess our paths have taken different turns, and should this message ever reach you, much love. best of wishes towards everything you reach for. and as matches once told you, 'don't take any wooden nickles.' i'll miss you. "we all shine on."

tory, i'll always love you. "it can't rain all the time."