Mom, Ramen, 13/f

So I'll do something nice, and make you smile. I hate to know that you cry. That's why I hide it from you when I do. Yet I tell you it's okay. I don't really want your life to be as shitty as mine. I try to hide you to shelter you. Oh, mom. I can't really save you. But I love you just the same. I hope a smile from your son is enough for today.
I eat ramen, but I'm hungry an hour later. What the fuck is the point of eating if it doesn't prevent me from being hungry. I hate being hungry because I hate feeling like I need food. I just eat, and it's rarely anything healthy and I'm gonna gain weight. I do not want that. I want to be one of the pretty people. I want the people that I want to want me back, but they never will if I'm a fat ass.
Yeah, I sound like a 13 year old girl. Too fucking bad. I'm...I'm not entirely sure what I am according to labels. But I know I'm me. And I know that I wouldn't want me any other way.