In which strange things occur, but yours truly still does the right thing

Last night so many things that I didn't expect, didn't want, happened.
Things with Julia didn't go well. I don't get to see her, talk to her, for a week. This may very well be good bye. Time will tell, and I'm not a fan of waiting. But I will.
I worried that I would mistakenly call Lacey to find comforts of the flesh to ease my troubled heart. Thankfully, Julia kissed me before leaving. It helped far more than she will probably realize.
So I continued my night, not calling Lacey, and being unable to reach any friends to hang out with. Here's where things get truly bizarre.
At 3 AM I got a text message from Lacey saying "Are you still awake." I responded "Yes. Why?" after a moment of panic that she was contacting me on this night of all nights. Long story shortened: Don (her pseudo-boyfriend) was snoring and she couldn't sleep, but she also didn't want to drive all the way to Waverly and she wants to stay at my place. Is this fate? Is this what I'm supposed to do?
Of course, I let her stay here. I even let her sleep in the bed. So I slept on the couch last night, for the first time in a while. She and I talked for a few hours before she headed off to bed. I didn't really want to talk to her. I do still care, but...it's just not what I want. Part of me wishes I'd done something with her last night. Something exciting, forbidden. Part of me wonders what would have happened if she would've tried. But me, the real me, the me inside, well I'm happy nothing happened. It's not what I want most. It's the proverbial "having your cake and eating it too." So what if I can't have my cake right now. I'd rather have it later than eat it and be shit out of luck. Maybe I won't be able to even have it later, but I'm not ready to give up on that. I guess time will tell.
I'm glad you listen, dear diary. Now, I'm going to go read a book.