The time from 10:30 to 3

Every night around 10:30 is when I actually start to get lonely. The days (usually before 4pm) aren't as bad. I work on music then. I read then. When 10:30 hits, though, most of my friends have headed home for the night and Jonah heads for work. Being as I'm typically up until 2 or 3 I have about 4 hours with which I'm unsure what to do with myself. If I had a job, I'd work during the day and be working on music or reading at night. If I had a girlfriend, I'd be spending time with her. I really liked that Julia and I hung out at night because I was with her when I would have otherwise been alone. Likewise, when Lacey lived here, I could spend my evenings with her.
It's not so much that I'm lonely as that I run out of things to do. I read some more, I write some more, I work on some more music and I download new music to listen to, but there's only so much of those things that I can do in a day before I start to lose interest in them.
Hell, life has in general lost a lot of it's interest to me. I find food to be more of a burden than a pleasure. Nothing really seems to taste good anymore and I tire of eating the same stuff regularly. Dinner at Hu Hot with Julia was the last good meal I had. Living alone I don't really cook full meals because it's difficult to prepare a meal for one person with a starch, a meat and a vegetable. Most of that shit doesn't come designed for single servings and I don't have the money to purchase a variety of foods anyway.
Furthermore, I'm yearning for the activities that I was unable to do for so long because of my physical injuries. I want urban exploring. I want road trips. I want physical exercise, outside, even though I don't think my body can take it yet. I want to go bowling. I want to go play in parks. I want to go back to the graveyard even though it'll never be the same without her. It's kinda her place.
I just yearn for so much more. I want more laughter in my life. I want more smiling in my life. I want to have moments that I can tell people about and they'll be sad that they weren't there. I want to be enjoying myself so much that I don't answer my phone when someone calls because I'm having such a great time that I don't care who calls.
I think this is why I liked Julia. Well, one of the reasons. She made me laugh and smile and enjoy the world for what it was while it was being what it was. When we were hanging out, I could put my phone on silent and know that no one would call about something better to do. I want to stay her friend and be able to still enjoy her time, like that.
Things seem to keep going back to Julia. God, I'm probably an idiot for letting her go and not fighting for her. Well, be that as it may, I want her in my life. She brings with her (with her very being) a brightness that I can't find elsewhere. I know it's in me too, I just need to let it out. I did, moderately, today and I smile a lot today because I was just having fun with life.
I wish all of my friends cared to be happy and enjoy themselves as much I do. They all seem like they're passing the time. I hate passing the time. I hate the time from 10:30 to 3 because I'm just waiting for the day to end. Maybe I'll learn a life skill. Maybe I'll learn how to play piano. Maybe I'll quit writing this so I can find something more constructive to do.