Letting her go, Part 1

I slept a fair amount last night. It's finally starting to cool down in the world. I like the cold. It's comforting.
Things with Julia fell apart. She's back with her (ex)boyfriend. She said she could never love me. She said she loved him. I said a lot of things. Most importantly I said that I don't think he really makes her happy. Not in the way I do. I actually cried when I hugged her goodbye. I didn't want to. I was trying to be so stone cold about it all.
I know she's not "over" me. I know she still wants to be around me and I still want to be around her. Maybe everything just happened too fast. We both looked to what we could be, given time, when we should have been enjoying what we were. It's my fault for that. I asked her what we were and I told her that I thought I was falling in love with her. Funny things, that is. Most girls would love to hear that. Most girls are stupid. It's not like I said it so she'd jump for joy and stars would fall from the sky or something stupid like that. I said it because I thought it was true. It may have been, but it didn't need said.
I don't need to fret this. I'm pretty sure she won't call. I'm just going to be writing about it for a bit to help myself through this. Now that I've returned to you, dear diary, I intend to write my way through a lot of heart ache. Maybe things wouldn't have gotten so bad with Lacey if I'd have been writing. Anyway, It'll all come out in time.