good 'ol me and good 'ol joey

so, i failed to sleep, again, last night. i think i'll go sleep soon. i'll hopefully be asleep by 1 PM. that'd be fairly nice. well, maybe it would be. i'm not tired, but i know i need sleep eventually. all night i was at my computer. the internet spontaneously fixed itself. now all three of us, once again, have internet. i walked to the gas station to buy a pack of smokes (i left my carton in mike's car on accident) and then ended up walking to the highschool. i got there just as bree and julie were walking out. we went to Blue Moon Cafe for lunch. of course, i didn't eat. after julie dropped bree back off at the highschool, her and i came here (my house). we talked for about 20 minutes about her life. she hadn't been talking to me recently. so, i talked to her about joey, dance, the two plays she's helping do, and work. apparently, she doesn't much care for dance, but i incouraged her to stick with it. she also told me why joey doesn't like me. he thinks i treated her bad. i do too. she didn't treat me very well, either, so neither of us holds it against the other. the example she said he commonly gives it that i constanty reminded her that i took her virginity after our break-up. she defends me, saying that it's just a joke and it doesn't bother her. that makes 1 person it doesn't bother. yes, it bothers me. and i talked with her about that. that was extremely rude, insensitive, and immature of me to say. she still tried to defend me saying it. she said "it's just your personality." it's not though. it WAS my personality. i don't point it out anymore. a lot of people like joey and don't understand why i dislike him so much. well, julie and i discussed it, and here's what i came up with:

1) he's "boyfriend material." in otherwords, he wants to be julie's boyfriend so much, he's not being joey anymore. he lets who he is be defined by who he is dating. i've seen several times and julie's told me of other times in which he became incredibly upset about her spending time with someone else. and he's apparently become fairly angry with the fact that she has a lot of activities presently, even though the majority of her free time is spent with him. anything he does to please himself must also please julie. that's bull shit. she agrees. he's begining to lose his personality because he's afraid she'll disagree with some of the things that make him joey. yes, some traits he should remove, like going to school stoned, but others make him unique. basically, rather than crying over spilled milk, joey should just drink the water that's not spilled.

2) joey's rather immature. yes, i said it. he's immature. i don't feel bad saying people are. i still am in several aspects of my life. some of those, i'm attempting to remove (like the fact i was excessively proud of taking julie's virginity, the fact that i used to use women for sex, and the fact that i will argue counter to my beliefs just to upset someone), while others i wish to never remove (like the fact that i find it entertaining to play with a twist-tie). this has a lot to do with point 1 (i feel that whole point to be a specific sign of immaturity), but also entails several other aspects. those, i feel no need to go into detail about, because they will simply offend people. they would get no more clarity through, probably seem fairly personally attacking, and cause defensiveness (which we all know stands in the say of actually obsorbing information and reconsidering the source of the mistakes).

those are the two things i find faults in with julie dating joey. don't say i want her back. don't say i think i'm better for her. don't say i'm better than him. i never did, nor do i intend to. i think julie isn't right for either of us. i think neither of us is right for julie. that is what i said. and, that is all. ok, bye.