tips on how to be poor.

i was hungry. so i decided to make food (this is after i got home, about 15 minutes ago) and then panicked. i haven't made food at my house in about 3 weeks. i just made garlic bread instead of food. it's so easy.

here's how you make poor man's garlic bread. toast some bread in a toaster. butter the bread. put garlic salt on the toast. bread is best purchased from the wonderbread store, where it's cheapest. if you get a 4 lbs. tub of butter, it's more cost efficient. the garlic salt can be acquired at Little Italy. they put shakers of it on the table. just go their with a friend that has money. your friend will buy something and while they're eating their food, steal the garlic salt.

other tips on how to be poor: you can steal the salt and pepper shakers from restaurants too. they place utensils in front of you even if you're not eating. you don't need these now. take them home, you may need them later. if you smoke, they'll give you an ashtray. use it, but only sparingly. while your friend is paying their bill, dump the ashtray somewhere (i suggest the empty plate or bowl from your friend) and take the ashtray with you. restaurants with napkin dispensers are blessings. you can take the whole dispenser with the napkins, or just the napkins, it's your choice. if your winter coat has a hole in it or you just need a new one, family restaurants usually have a place to hang your coat. you can get a coat from the coat hangers. you can also find gloves, hats, and scarves.

i have plenty of stuff right now, because i bought stuff i'd need before i became poor. therefore, i only need to steal garlic salt, which i could probably go without. but for those of you that can't plan, follow this advice and you'll prosper.