beautiful day.

in the last several hours, i've already made my day worth waking up for. many wonderous events happened.

i bought condoms. i love buying condoms. i always buy them with really odd things to go with them. once, i purchased a box of condoms, a roll of electric tape and a tube of toothpaste. today, i purchased the box of condoms, a box of screws and a squeeze pop. needless to say, i'm never embarassed when buying condoms. but you should see the fun colors the cashiers turn.

the man selling me condoms did NOT say "have a nice night" as Wal-Mart employees always do, so i conducted a test. after putting the condoms in my car, i returned to Wal-Mart and purchased a root beer. the lady at the counter said "have nice night, son." i'm not her on, but she still did well. i went outside to smoke, and then returned again and purchased a candybar. the young man said "have a good night." he too did well. my final conclusion, the first cashier was jealous and did not want me to have a good night because he isn't/wasn't getting laid and didn't think i should be either.

i talked to my brother and caused a rucus at his place of business. he manages a kaybee outlet store in the mall, and there's so many good things to play with. i found a baby doll that "feels like a real baby." i took a picture of the "feels like a real baby" emblem on the box. the baby was filled with beans. there was also a toy parrot that would repeat what you say. so i had it repeating obscenety at all the people walking up to the register. my brother made me leave after that.

i tried to go into younkers and look for christmas presents for my mom, but they kept asking if they could help me and i got scared. when one particularly over perfumed, over made-up lady asked if she could help me, i squeeled and turned around, promptly leaving the store.

i drove around throwing condoms out of my car window while yelling "merry christmas." some kids playing on the playground at an elementary school got a few. an old guy walking out of a church got a few. two firemen smoking outside the fire department got a few. some people walking got a few. some guy putting gas in his car got a few. it was GREAT fun.

those things were in no particular order. i just wrote them in the order i felt like writing them. day will continue to get better. because i say it will. and i'm not going to chicago tomorrow, as originally planned. so i'm going to play with frooty loops now and wait for chad or elise to call. ok, bye.